Telling Children about Remarriage

After living together for several years, my fiancé and I are getting married in fifteen days! Meanwhile, I finally have a fully-functional replacement laptop in my possession, and today I’ve been reading about the different ways that people prepare their children for their remarriage.

Back when my stepdaughter was four, my fiancé and I sat down with her on our big purple couch and told her that we were getting married.

She scrunched up her face. "No."

I looked over at FH and raised an eyebrow.

"Yes," He said.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

FH frowned. "Why are you saying that?"

She sighed and looked at us like we were being ridiculous. "Because you guys already got married a long time ago."

Then it dawned on me—she can’t remember a time when FH and I weren’t living together. She just assumed that we were already married, maybe because she thought that all men and women living together are married.

We talked about it a little more at the time, and then a little more and a little more as the months passed. Mostly she’s just been excited about a new dress, a party, and her grandparents coming to visit.

While my stepdaughter has handled my marriage to her father with ease, I suspect that I’m in the minority. I’m interested in learning more about other people’s experiences. How have you all handled this situation?